A Love Letter

Dear Mikaela,

I don’t know where to start, my dear girl. There is so much to say, so many feelings and thoughts gathered throughout the whole pregnancy and up to the point you were born. And even now when you are already 3 weeks old, there are still so many things that are racing through my mind.

When I first suspected that I may be pregnant with you, I went to the chemist and bought almost $50 worth of pregnany test kits. The test kits kept on giving me different results. One would say – Positive and the other would say – Negative. I didn’t tell your daddy about it then. Every day I would test a few times and it was a few days of guessing before I decided to go to see a GP about it. The GP mocked me at first as his test kit came back negative but by then I knew that I had you so I insisted on a blood test.

I still didn’t tell your daddy then. But I managed to convince him to go see the GP with me on the day the blood test results were due back. Your daddy thought that we were just going to see the GP on a routine health check. The GP read out the results of the blood test and you should have seen your daddy’s face. A mixture of pure surprise and bewilderment. Absolutely priceless!

Your daddy was so excited that we went to the bookstore that afternoon and picked up a book about pregnancy and how you may grow in my tummy (book name – Up the Duff). He was bursting with the news that he wanted to tell the whole world about it.

At that time, I was thinking to myself, 40 weeks of pregnancy seemed like an awful long time. I still have a long way to go to prepare everything, including myself, for your arrival.

The initial stage of the pregancy was pretty eventful and a little stressful. We had some bleeding and had to see the obstetrician almost every week in the beginning. Daddy and myself prayed to God that everything will be alright and that you would be fine

I had some nasty morning sickness. See, cheeky you were already not making things easy for me even at that early stage. I was feeling sick all the way to 24 weeks even though most other pregnant mummies stop feeling sick at about 12 – 13 weeks. I struggled at work, as I was always feeling tired and had terrible backaches.

Just as the morning sickness subsided, I found out that I had gestational diabetes. With you, I have cravings for sweet stuff. You must have a sweet tooth (just like your Daddy). So I started to have to do finger pricking and test the blood for about 3 times a day to test the blood sugar levels.

We first saw you on the ultrasound monitor when you were about 9 weeks old in the womb. you were like a little peanut. It didn’t yet hit me that you are indeed growing inside my tummy. And we nicknamed you “Duffy”. The next time we “saw” you, you were about 14 weeks old. Both Daddy and myself thought you looked like a little alien on the ultrasound monitor. The last time I (Daddy was away at work so he couldn’t come to the appointment with me) “saw” you, you were about 18 weeks old and the sonographer asked if I would like to know your sex but I said no. I let you in on a little secret. I thought you may be a girl.

You continued to grow beautifully in my tummy and were not due to arrive until 1 Oct. But you chose to come into this world earlier on the 13 Sept.

Now that I think back, the whole pregnancy were actually quite a breeze. Praise God that He sustains both of us and keep us from any harm. I couldn’t believe that 37 weeks came and went just like that.

The labour went quick as well. You were a bit cheeky and were facing the wrong way so we had a bit of trouble getting you out. When you were born, the obstetrician immediately placed you in a towel and straight onto my tummy. You were so small, purple and slimey looking. Definitely not a looker at that moment but we fell in love with you right away. I was lost for words and you were crying due to shock from a sudden entrance into this world and all I could say was ” Hush.. it is ok.”

Your daddy was so proud and was beaming from ear to ear when he was carrying you and I could tell you are going to be a Daddy’s girl.

The first night at the hospital, I couldn’t sleep, just couldn’t keep my eyes off you. Daddy and myself couldn’t believe that we finally have you in our arms, a beautiful precious gift from God.

You were jaundiced and was put under phototherapy for about 2 days. You were pretty sleepy and didn’t feed very well and we had to stay in the hospital for an extra day. The midwives at the hospital nicknamed you “Cheeky Monkey” as you would scream the nursery down at night, refusing to settle.

3 weeks on, you have smiled countless times, screamed your lungs out until you go red and purple, peed on your Daddy, Mummy and your two grandmas, did a few poo explosions such that even the walls were grafftied by you.

Right now, you absolutely hated bath time or nappy changing, loves your cuddles and your bouncer. You still feed VERY slowly.

You have brought us so much joy, tears (particularly to me), sweat, laughter, sleepless nights, aching arms and backs….

We pray to God every day that He will keep you in His embrace always. That He grants your daddy and myself wisdom to nurture you and bring you up in the manner that pleases Him. That you will grow up to be a girl after God’s own heart.

Lots of love,

Mummy

~ by katherinelek on October 8, 2008.